Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
