Pregnant stripper...not hot.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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