Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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