i don't like sucking hair
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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