she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?