I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize