i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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