no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
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I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
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Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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