At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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