Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
