I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
