Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I have feelings that need drinking.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
