I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize