problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
