I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
