Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
