Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You can't special order awesome
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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