don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
