It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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