yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
