There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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