Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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