escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Found the puke drawer
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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