just come out here and I will go home with you...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
