Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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