She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
