butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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