For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
