forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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