dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
