I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
