Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
