I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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