Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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