super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
my liver is dry heaving
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
