when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
