I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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