Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
