so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
