i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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