I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
