My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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