The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
