I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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