I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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