We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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