so let's talk penis.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think a kid would responsible me up
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
