okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize