You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
