he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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