Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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