don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm always down for nudity.
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