On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
