We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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