i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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