And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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