just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
