I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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