Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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