so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
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it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
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Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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