So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
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