Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
