It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
It was confusing and full of hummus
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
