I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
