After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
