This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize