Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
it's great music for shaving your balls
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
