I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
